Halloween Havoc: Tim Ritter's TRUTH OR DARE Series (1986-2017) Part 2

DEADLY DARES (2011): In the fourth installment, just like Tim Ritter himself, the story moves from Sunnyvale, FL to Lexington, KY. Here the schlubbiest of schlubs is named "Tuner" (Casey Miracle). After he loses his loser job and loses his loser girlfriend, Rose (Heather Price) - who he refers to as "doc" for no apparent reason. She dumps him because he refused a dare to run around around in the street naked on video in the middle of the night. If we know anything from watching three other TRUTH OR DARE movies, we know that you cannot decline a dare. You just can't.

This onslaught of losering causes him to... wait for it... get addicted to an internet site called DareTube.com! Didn't see that coming did you? I can't believe Ritter didn't register that URL to promote his movies. Apparently, Tim discovered the internet in 2010 and is all in with characters dialoguing grandfatherish explanations of how these things work and liberal use of the word "cyberworld". Would you believe he actually has a semi-updated MySpace page? Truth! Or was it a dare? Hard to say.

The DareTube website allows "players" to connect to other people who "love to play" Truth or Dare. This is supposed to be a country-wide internet phenomenon. I'm tempted to make a "sure Jan" snarky remark, but this was five years before TikTok, the ultimate "dare" video app. A video upload site where idiots be damn near killing themselves and others by doing dangerous shit that defies rational explanation. Why would you think eating Tide Pods would be a not bad thing? Anyway, Tuner connects to a loser hottie named Dara (Jessica Cameron) and with the relentless "encouragement" of his loser friend Axel (Billy W. Blackwell), Tuner and Dara take turns escalating their dares. Tuner dares her to do things like, show him a hidden tattoo... that turns out to be on her side. Phew, it's getting hot up in here! C'mon baby, let's see some ankle! This escalates with Dara doing more teasing and Tuner painting his face red with what looks like a black handlebar mustache, but is actually supposed to look like the original copper mask from part 1. With this make-up and a hoody, he runs around with Axel holding the camera, doing things like beating a homeless guy to death with a baseball bat.

It feels like at least half of the running time is intentionally badly shot home video clips of random people self mutilating, committing suicide, or murdering other people while mugging for the camera. These are supposed to be dares that have been uploaded to the website and while occasionally gory, wear out their welcome very quickly, particularly since the jiggly home camera shots are more nausea inducing than the killings. This finally culminates with the ultimate dare: Break Mike out of the sanitarium, which is... now in Kentucky? I guess if you are being goaded into murdering people and uploading videos of said crimes to the internet, fact-checking may not be in your repertoire. (SPOILER) In spite of the institution appearing to be abandoned, Tuner finds a skinny Mike in a room tied to a gurney and sets him free, only to find out that the entire movie has been a set-up by Rose, who is dressed up in Mike's black outfit (he must have raided The Shape's closet) and mask! She reveals that it was all orchestrated by her and Axel to get Tuner to prove that he loves her, and he failed that by getting infatuated with Dara! As punishment Tuner gets a knife in the guts. Ritter decides to actually put some real effort into this double twist and we find out that really, the whole thing was all in Tuner's imagination as an incredibly elaborate way to commit suicide. (/SPOILER)

This would have made a pretty decent short film, in spite of the cringe-inducing c.1998 obsession with the internet, and that may have been how it started, given how much Tim enjoys doing shorts and how much padding is responsible for stretching this thing out to 95 minutes. It makes sense, because if the home video sequences weren't bad enough, Ritter decides to re-make scenes from part 1 with a new cast for use as flashback material, and nothing says "filler" like flashbacks. These scenes are quickly and cheaply made in household rooms with bedsheets covering the walls, and with an even lower-quality video camera. this makes the rest of the very low-rent production look significantly better. That's literally the nicest thing I can say about them. I'm sure the next one will be better... right?

I DARED YOU! TRUTH OR DARE 5 (2017): Oh good lord, Tim! WTF? First let me say that I love the way Tim Ritter actually works out sequels that follow plot points from earlier films. Many people, both pro and indy, like to make sequels that are more or less stand-alone experiences, so that you don't have to see the previous movies to understand what is going on in the sequel. While Ritter uses flashbacks so that newbies aren't completely lost, there are so many things carried over from earlier movies that it's pretty much mandatory to have seen what came before or you will miss out on the best things that the series offer. Unfortunately, that also means that in 2017 we got a sequel to 2011's DEADLY DARES. Even more unfortunately, Ritter made this film with a guy named Scott Tepperman. Fucking Scott Tepperman. A micro-budget SOV "actor" who has also directed some extremely cheap VOD fodder that is the kind of movie where the cast and crew go on to movie sites, like IMDb, to anonymously post glowing reviews to bump up the score. His big claim to fame is being in SyFy's GHOST HUNTERS INTERNATIONAL. Oddly, he is not credited in it in the IMDb, though Wikipedia lists him as being one of the investigators from the final years of the show's run. I've never seen the show, but I've seen an episode of the original where a cheap nightvision video camera records a couple of dufuses in the dark saying things like "this is creepy" and "oh [bleep] did you hear that!?" and run around like idiots. Tepperman teamed up with a stuntman Jim O'Rear to make no-budget horror movies under the name Los Bastardz Productions and managed to get Tim Ritter to help them make some money at the expense of the audience.

Did I say Tuner from part 4 was "the schlubbiest of schlubs"? Holy shit, I was so wrong. Meet Dax Hakman (Tepperman). Dax is introduced to the audience being released from a clearly abandoned, graffiti-covered, mental facility that bears a stone plaque on the front that reads: "Building Committee." His doctor, Dr. Hall (Jim O'Rear), is releasing him due to... anybody, anybody? Yes, you in the back, that's right: Budget cuts... and hands him his business card with the website www.mikeystruthordare.com written on the back. Yeah, I don't know what happened to daretube.com either. Squatters maybe? Apparently before Dax was institutionalized, he was also the baseball kid who gets his face chainsawed in part 1. Because of this, he wears a copper half mask to hide what must be hideous scars. And because it would cost money for the make-up appliance to show his messed up mug, at no point in the movie is the mask ever removed, so we never find out. This is going to be a long 88 minutes, isn't it?

Freshly released, Dax strangles a prostitute (M. Catherine Wynkoop, Joel's wife) in a hotel room, as we learn in a flashback that he was institutionalized for strangling a young girl who wanted to play truth or dare. We also learn that Dax got in trouble for obsessing over horror movies and scream queen magazines. Yep, watching horror movies makes you a murderer... the conservative horror trope that will never just fuck off and die. In the flashback of him as a nine year old, he tells the girl that he dares her to let him strangle her. She screams "that's crazy!" at which point Dax strangles her, which pretty much proves her point. Unfortunately for Dax, his prostitute doesn't die as easily, so Dax uses a chainsaw on her in the bathtub while she's still alive. Sounds wild, right? Yeah, don't get excited, that shit costs money, so all we see is Dax's back and the sounds of a chainsaw and a blood spattered wall. At one point he turns his head sideways, so that the camera can see him eating something with overacted gusto and kissing a severed head - I wouldn't be surprised if the head was a prop left over from a previous movie, because that's one of the few make up effects in this movie.

We then see an unidentified person in a suit and tie ranting that the Truth or Dare website got his daughter killed (cue footage from DEADLY DARES). This person then gives old Dr. Hess (Joel Wynkoop) a suitcase full of cash to "make it stop". I'm not sure what that means, or whether Hess even would still have a license to practice any sort of medicine at this point, but he's just crazy enough to do it! Whatever it actually is. This segues into "Chainsaw" Dax doing the ol' Daretube - sorry Mikeystruthordare thing with "Stillborn" Sara (Trish Erickson-Martin) - both of whom appeared in a DEADLY DARES Daretube video. Dax does stuff like going into someone's bedroom while they are having cowgirl sex, going through their drawers with a flashlight on his head and the couple never even noticing that there is a 400 pound mouth breather in a half mask and a frickin' head lamp standing inches away from them! C'mon man, wtf? Maybe if they were doing it missionary? I don't know. Better still when our badass serial killer is finally noticed, he is terrified and waddles as fast as he can out of the house. He uploads a video of this for Sara who thinks it's great and in return, Sara tells Dax about how she was raped as a virgin by her boyfriend, who threw her unconscious, naked body in a bathtub and drew on her with a marker and took pictures. "I'll PM some of them to you." This tugs at Dax's heartstrings (no, really) and he decides to help her out, even though the pictures clearly show that she is wearing a big ass t-shirt that was written on. As Cheech Marin once said, "hey, that's false advertising, man!" Though, to be fair, I'm totally fine with that.

Meanwhile, Dr. Hess is barging in on Mikeystruthordare... uhh, influencers(?). One guy (Michael Baker) says that he is Crazy Joel, to which Hess, with a gun to the guy's head, yells "You're not Crazy Joel! I know Crazy Joel!" This is pretty damn funny by itself, but it's odd since Crazy Joel is another video uploader from DEADLY DARES, a movie that Dr. Hess isn't even in. Also meanwhile, Dax goes to visit his girlfriend (didn't he just get released from years in an asylum?) and... What happens? Anyone? Anyone? Yes, of course ...he finds her with another man! I know you all are shocked right now. Hilariously, he brought her plastic flowers at which the alleged girlfriend sneers at and says that they are fake "like you." To which Dax replies "At least they won't die, like you and loverboy here!" Loverboy says "Huh?" and Dax is forced to give back his key and run out of the house with his tail between his legs. Seriously, are we supposed to take this fucking guy seriously? He's "Chainsaw Dax," a serial killer, and yet he is constantly the biggest fucking pussy ever.

Even funnier, Dax is hanging out in his now ex-girlfriend's back yard, sipping a bottled water out of the side of his mouth, while she and her new guy giggle and pretend to be doing pinup photos and not noticing the 400 pound loser in a hoodie and half mask standing there watching them! Even funnier than that, Dr. Hall idly meanders up next to Dax and tells him that he's "just checking in" on him (how did he know he was there?). Dax then tells him everything is fine and that he met his soulmate on "that website", at which point Hall tells him that Hess is back in the headlines and then leaves his psychopathic patient to murder his ex. Seems like a responsible thing for a psychologist of homicidal patients to do. Dax, in spite of no longer having a key, goes back in the house and strangles his ex in the bathtub with some VHS tape, which we all know is incredibly durable. He also kills her new dude by stabbing him with a CD. I mean, I guess. Hey man, it's not physical media's fault that people died, the problem is mental illness... thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers.

While Hess has arguments with a plastic-surgery addict, Linda (Ashley Lynn Caputo), who is half his age, supposed to be his wife and can barely move her mouth when she talks, Dax and Sara take care of Sara's ex-boyfriend Josh (Todd Martin) with a string of Christmas lights (don't ask, I don't know), a baseball bat and suddenly we get to the meat of the plot. No really, Tim is all in on the heavy plot twists and turns this time and it breaks my heart that this script was ruined by Tepperman's involvement on nearly every level. With even a low budget, allegedly $5k (the crowdfund only brought in $3,376), this could have been highly entertaining. *deep breath* Ready? Spoilers are marked for those of you who still care.

(SPOILERS) Sara is actually also a patient of Dr. Hall and was directed by Hall to get Dax to kill Dr. Hess. Dr. Hess was hired by a guy working for Dr. Hall, so that he would get himself back in the headlines and be easy for Dax to find. Dax is so mad at being manipulated by Hall that he throws a pad of paper and a pen on the floor of his office and accuses him of the set-up. The doc admits it, but says he did it because he was dumped by Linda who went and married Dr. Hess! This, once again, tugs at Dax's dumbass heart-strings and he decides to help Hall by shooting a video of a naked Linda and a clothed (thank god) Hess having sex literally inches away without them noticing - again! How is this big goombah also a ninja?

(SPOILERS) Dax then kidnaps Linda and Hess calls up Axel (from part 4, who was supposed to be a figment of Tuner's imagination!). Hess needs Axel's help... in padding out the movie. Axel talks a lot, says nothing. Hess is then dared by Dax to inject himself with heroin, while he shows Hess a video of Linda having gas poured on her. Hess has to pick up a massive needle from two campy gay dudes who are supposed to be gang members (I think this is supposed to be comic relief). He is then directed to inject himself and stumbles around like he's an extremely articulate drunk, proving nobody involved with any aspect of this production has any idea what heroin is or does. Hess then must go to a bar and cut off his finger (the only real gore effect in the movie). Meanwhile we get lots of "news" clips of random people decrying this crazy ass, middle aged, out of shape doctor going around committing crimes in broad daylight, uploading them to the web and leaving the police utterly baffled as to how to catch him.

(SPOILERS) This all culminates in a showdown between two overweight, out of shape dudes running from each other in the now officially abandoned asylum (that still looks exactly the same as before). But before they clash, we discover that... hoo boy... Dr. Hall is a crossdresser with an axe who wants to kill Dr. Hess, take all of the money that Dr. Hess got paid and take Dax with him to Switzerland where he can get a sex change and be the woman he always wanted to be with Dax by his side... So yeah, there's that. We then get Dax running around with a non-working chainsaw shouting "I dare you... to die!" Of course, both Dax and Dr. Hess live to take on another sequel. Yay? (/SPOILERS)

Starting out life as an Indy a Go Go crowdfunder, headed up by Tepperman, the campaign promised a sequel to the original TRUTH OR DARE with Asbestos Felt, "many skilled, veteran special effects artists" and walk-on roles for every person who ponies up $20 or more. Asbestos Felt wasn't in it, there were really only two special effects scenes and with 64 total backers, I don't think they squeezed even half of those people in the movie, but it sure explains the incredibly low bar for acting this time out. Granted, DEADLY DARES appeared to be a lot of Tim's random friends and fans instead of the trained aspiring actors that previous movies had, but this time out it's actually worse. Fortunately, we have Wynkoop's enthusiastic performance keeping this from being a total loss. The campaign also warned that Tepperman would really just be riding Ritter's cult status for his own ambitions by admitting that he is co-everything. Director, producer, editor, art department, etc. Everything except writer, thankfully. At least Ritter could write his sequel and we'd have that going for it. In the end, the campaign ended with $3,376 pledged out of a goal of $8,500. I don't know if Tim Ritter heading up the campaign and not partnering with a notorious hackster would have got more backers, but it couldn't have hurt.

Damn, how the mighty have fallen. I guess Tim Ritter is getting old (he was 50 when this was made) and not really feeling up to doing all that hard work that indy films require and seemingly more interested on his writing career. Even so, maybe at least be a bit selective about who you are going to partner up with (I'm having flashbacks to Don Dohler and Joe Ripple). Everyone has their flaws, but Tepperman has all the flaws. Apparently, Tepperman phoned and emailed Ritter until he agreed and, let's be honest, a movie based on the best script ever is only going to be as good as the people putting it on the screen. This is not the way the fabled franchise should end, but it seems like that may well be the final nail. As sad as that is, we still have the excellent first film and it's proper sequel SCREAMING FOR SANITY (1998). Plus, we also have the sorta-remake KILLING SPREE (1987) in which the lead is not totally a schlub! Tepperman can't take those away, not even with a prop chainsaw.

Tim Ritter's TRUTH OR DARE Series (1986-2017) Part 1