Saturday, November 8, 2014

Halloween Havoc: RE-PENETRATOR (2004)

When we launched our coverage of the film adaptations of the work of H.P. Lovecraft we said that we would leave no stone unturned. Damn it, why did I have to get this stone? Lovecraft’s stories have seen the highs and lows from filmmakers around the globe, resulting in quite possibly the most eclectic filmography of any adapted author. Posthumously, the writer has been given accolades of the highest order.  In 2004, however, he received a distinction that eluded even Edgar Allan Poe – someone went and made an H.P. Lovecraft XXX spoof.  Oh, dear God…er, Old Ones, help me!

Stuart Gordon’s classic RE-ANIMATOR (1985) serves as the inspiration for the aptly titled RE-PENETRATOR.  The film opens with Dr. Hubert Breast (Tommy Pistol) preparing to inject his day-glow green life-restoring formula into a naked female corpse (Joanna Angel).  He utters how this restorative juice will get her to “crave sex” but decides he needs “something bigger” to kick things into motion.  He gets a super-sized syringe full of green goo and injects it into her vagina, causing the undead dish to rise from the dead.  And that isn’t the only thing rising.  After hilariously screaming, “It’s alive, it’s alive” to full comedic effect, the good doc proves his M.D. stands for Medical Deviant as he and his experiment get it on in bloody fashion.  After they finish having sex, he tells her she acts like she hasn’t had sex in 120 years.  Apparently she has the post-coital skills of a preying mantis as she proceeds to kill her mate by mounting him and ripping out his intestines.  The film wraps up with the zombie girl looking to inject the dead doc with the serum to raise him once more.  Take that, Viagra!

Truth be told, there isn’t really a lot I can say about RE-PENETRATOR as it is only short that was made for Burning Angel.  Not surprisingly, it is currently the only XXX Lovecraft porn parody and we can only hope it will be the last.  Well, unless AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS gets made (again, it won’t) and we can get AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MAMMARIES (you can boo Tom for that joke).  I actually went into this thinking RE-PENETRATOR was a full length feature, but it is only a 20+ minute short.  This no doubt disappointed the porn parody enthusiast in me as director Doug Sakmann was responsible for EVIL HEAD (2012), the spot on parody of THE EVIL DEAD (1981). Alas, this was just his infancy stage when he did this and THE XXXORCIST (2006).  So anyone hoping for a full on XXX version of RE-ANIMATOR’s infamous head scene will have to wait.  The sex in the film is actually quite gross as it involves lots of blood spewing and spraying.  You have to admire the performers for working through all that.  Definitely not my cup of tea, but I’m sure some Japanese salary man is very, very happy halfway across the globe. It shouldn’t come as a shock that it won “Most Outrageous Sex Scene” at the 2006 AVN awards.  I’m glad to hear it beat out “The Cum Omelet” from AMERICAN BUKKAKE 26 (I’m not joking, that is a real thing it was up against). Also, some rather bad metal music blasts during the entire proceeding so you you’re your ears as well as eyes assaulted.  Rather than bore you with more words, here are some pics to give you an idea about the film (and send tons of Google hits our way).  Enjoy?


You're welcome for the nightmares:

Somewhere Andreas Schnaas is screaming, “This is too much!”

This Lady Gaga chick is weird!

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